I have found that because I am a person who loves so truly, so passionately, and so deeply, that the heartache from losing that love can be utterly devastating. And my heart has ached many times. But every time, I somehow managed to pick myself up off the floor and jump right back into love again. When I met Kevin, my husband, I had been broken so badly that I wasn't seeking out love. But he snuck in under my radar whilst I was unaware.
This poem isn't about him. I can still feel the anguish I was in when reading this poem. But it is proof that there can be love and happiness after the rain has fallen. And a broken heart doesn't have to stay broken forever. ( I wrote this poem just a month shy of my 21st birthday.)
Consequences of a Broken Heart
Finding the light in a sea of darkness
Only to realize that the light isn't real
Searching for some kind of hope
Maybe a beginning, or maybe the end
Looking beauty right in the face
And turning away because it hurts your eyes
Dots on the horizon have no meaning
Reaching into the ground for anything
And finding that there was never something there
Holding on tight to whatever will respond
Playing games with the darkness and the light
Believing that one day it will all make sense
So tired of wanting there to be more
Knowing that what's there should be good enough
Tempted to play the little games
The ones that cause the most hurt and pain
Running away from the simple truths
Waiting for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
Feel the rain pour down on your face
Reduce yourself to almost nothing
Flee the scene before they realize it was you
Only to get caught in the end
April 13, 2002
j.l.h
